Elf's Lament
by ChapstickFantastic
Summary: Doria, Penn and Bernard are just trying to get through one more Christmas. Life couldn't get less exciting until one little assignment turns into something much more until the usually in-shape world of these three elves is turned upside down.
1. Fwump

**Doria**

_Fwump._

A stack of papers as tall as my head fell into my hands. I looked up and Bernard.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course I'm serious. Besides, it's not like this is real paperwork."

"It's not?" I leafed through the pages, surprised. Paperwork is pretty much all anyone ever gave me.

"No, it's just information. If you and Penn could come up with something before Christmas, it would be great." He told me incredulously. "Do you think you can handle that?" His eyes searched my face.

"What?" I asked, feeling only a little guilty that I had spaced out for a moment.

He rubbed his forehead, obviously irritated. "Please, Doria. Please. _Tell_ me you know what you're doing."

"Of course." I replied.

"Good." Bernard rubbed his hands together. "Then get to work." With this, he turned to leave.

Wow, what an asshole, I thought, then changed my mind. But he's cute, so maybe it's not so bad that he's a jerk.

I turned to leave, too; back to the little room with the dreary blue walls that always seemed just a little out of place in this cheery setting. When I got there, I maneuvered my way through the path I'd made by pushing aside the piles and piles of boxes left here over the years, then I set the papers on the table. "Ugh." I exclaimed. I hated paperwork, but I'm not very good with my hands, which is unusual for an elf, but I have awesome penmanship (if I do say so myself) so that means I get to write; Forever.

It's not _really _hell, I guess. I do like to write, and I like my job. Fuel is always so interesting. The way things go is just fascinating. It's magic, really. I don't mean the kind of magic that most elves deal with; I mean the kind of magic that makes your heart fly because you know just how it all works. You've figured it out: it's like a dream.

I stared blankly at the first paper. It was the beginning of an article about fossil fuels and the environment. This was news to me.

_Bang!_

I looked up quickly to see a guy standing next to the corner of a table, his hand wrapped around his belt.

"Sorry, that table gets a lot of people. You should have said something when you came in." I told him, trying to be nice. He just stood there smiling like an idiot.


	2. Bang

**Penn**

I looked at my hands, latched together in a seemingly unbreakable hold. I could do this. I'm awesome.

Doria, Doriano, Dorialia, Doranialo, Doraminaliano.

I sighed. I'd seen her walking around. I tried to say "Hi," once but I don't think she heard me. She was talking to Bernard. Bernard thinks he's so great.

I pushed open the wooden door to find myself face-to-face with a fortress made out of old toy boxes higher than my head, as if to keep out dragons and demons. I peeked around them and I saw her. She wasn't striking or anything, not like before. She just looked normal now. Probably because she wasn't walking all confident-like. I started to walk in and tripped on some type of chord, so my thigh hit the corner of this table that was just sitting in the middle of the room. It took me a while to realize the searing pain shooting through my leg; and when I did, I winced and clutched my belt, like that would make it stop. She took her time looking up. I smiled like I wasn't in tremendous pain.

"Sorry, that table gets a lot of people. You should have said something when you came in." she told me coldly. I just smiled at her as warmly as I could.

"My name's…"

"Penndleton, am I right?" She smiled like she had some sort of hilarious secret.

"Uh, yeah." I replied bluntly "But call me Penn, please."

"Okay, sure." She said nonchalantly.

"So, um…"

"You're here to get more paper and stuff, right?"

"Actually, no. Bernard sent me to help you figure out if the sleight could use more environmentally friendly fuel to power it. Besides, the reindeer, you know. But, I mean, like, we live in the North Pole," I laughed a little. "I don't think we really need to worry about there being enough trees and stuff." I started to laugh, but she just looked at me, stoic.

"What we do affects the whole world, Penndleton." She told me solemnly.

Ouch.


End file.
